It's a strange, strange world
by Hope3
Summary: My weird Buffy series....
1. Default Chapter Title

Terror ran through Buffy's body. The sun had just set and as usual she was facing the evils of the night. Just tonight, the evil wasn't a vampire or demon. It was-  
"Please!" Dawn begged following Buffy upstairs as she gathered her weapons for patrol.   
"Get mom to take you." Buffy said.  
"I can't go with mom. It'd give her a headache."  
Buffy just looked at her.   
"Pretty please with cherries and all that stuff on top. This is the biggest thing to ever happen to this town. I have to go."  
"No!" Buffy replied. "I'm not going to the concert with you."  
"Some sister you are." Dawn complained before going back downstairs.   
Buffy sighed. She did feel a little bad for not going with Dawn, but there was no way she was going to be seen at a Britney Spears concert. It wasn't like Dawn really like Britney that much. She wouldn't want to go at all if her friends weren't going. Buffy grabbed a stake and went downstairs. Dawn was sitting at the bottom of the stairs sulking.   
"Can you move?" Buffy asked as nicely as she could manage.  
"I'm not talking to you." Dawn said.  
Buffy sat down next to her. "What time is the concert?"  
"Why do you want to know?" Dawn asked.  
"We don't want to be late, do we?"  
An hour later, after Buffy had finished a quick patrol, the sisters and Willow, who Buffy had dragged along, were standing in line to get in the arena. Dawn was hyper and kept singing Britney songs.   
"My loneliness is killin' me. I must confess-" Dawn sang. Then, she paused and shouted. "Hey, Xander! Willow, look Xander's here."  
Xander sheepishly made his way through the crowd to them. "Hello ladies." he said.  
"Didn't realize you had a thing for Britney Spears." Buffy greeted him. She and Willow exchanged amused glances.  
"Yeah, well, she has so much talent. I admire her singing and dancing. Mostly, the dancing."   
Before anyone could respond, Anya ran up to them with Giles in tow.   
"Look, Xander," Anya said. "I bought all 11 Britney t-shirts, 4 Britney hats, all the posters, and-"  
"Giles!" Buffy exclaimed, cutting Anya off midway through her spiel to impress Xander. "What are you doing at a Britney Spears concert?"  
"Um, I-I wasn't aware the young lady was performing tonight." Giles said awkwardly. "I thought there was to be another performance." Drat! he thought That NSYNC concert must be next month.  
"Oh, come on, British man." Xander replied. "We all know why you're really here."  
"I don't know what you're referring to Xander, but I am certain it is incorrect. I was going to get return my ticket, but they wouldn't let me." Giles said.  
"Then, stay." Buffy said. "We can all hang out together. You know, have a Scooby night out."  
"Yeah and this night just keeps getting interestinger and interestinger. Who knows what'll happen next." Willow said cheerfully.  
"I have a feeling it's about to get even more interestinger." Buffy replied nodding toward a familiar figure at the concession stand.   
"Isn't that Spike?" Giles asked. And everyone laughed.  
Spike turned around and saw the gang. He tried to leave, but was stopped by Riley who had just gotten in the other line.   
"Riley," Buffy said. "Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting?"  
"I called and your mom said you were here, so I decided to come." he replied. "Hi everyone."  
"How'd you get a ticket?" Dawn asked, skeptically. "It's been sold out for months."  
"Would you believe I found one lying on the ground?" he replied.   
'Let me see that." Spike said. He looked at the ticket and said "This is mine. I dropped it after the girl ran off."  
"Girl?" Buffy asked.  
"The girl who gave me her tickets in exchange for her life." everyone glared at him. "What? I'm evil." Someone walked into him. "Hey!"   
"W-Willow." Tara said after she walked away from Spike. "What are you doing here?"  
"That seems to be tonight's million dollar question." Xander muttered.  
"Tara! Hey!" Willow replied. "Buffy wanted me to come with her and Dawn. Why are you here?"  
"I was walking by and this girl handed a ticket to me saying there was an insane guy in there and she didn't want to go anymore." Everyone glared at Spike again who gave them an innocent expression.   
"Ok, everyone. The doors are now open. Everyone in," the security guard yelled from the door.   
"Finally!" Dawn exclaimed as they made their way to their seats, which coincidentally were all together. "I think I did it again. I made you believe we're more than just friends. Oh baby, it might see like a crush but it doesn't mean that I'm serious. But to loose all my senses that is just so typically me." Dawn sang, then she exclaimed, "Everyone!"  
They all just looked at her.  
"Or not."  
"I think they want to save their voices for the concert." Willow tried to console her.  
"Yeah and some of us don't even like the girl." Spike said. "Unless-" he paused. "Do you like her, Buffy?"  
"She's ok. Not really my thing." Buffy said from her position on Riley's arm, much to a silently fuming Spike's dismay.  
"I can't believe we're about to see Britney Spears in person!" Anya squealed. "This is so exciting. I can't wait to see her and I am not in any way jealous."  
"You know, Britney really isn't that pretty." Xander said. "And, I heard she can't even sing that well."  
"Really?" Anya said. "You're not just saying that?"  
"Hey look!" Dawn squealed happily. "It's starting!"  
"Isn't she lovely? This Hollywood girl." Britney Spears "sang". "And they say she's a lucky. She's a star. But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart thinking if there's nothing missing in my life why do these tears come at night?"  
"Isn't she so cool?" Dawn said to Willow. "I can't believe we're here."  
"She is pretty cool." Willow replied. It made her happy to see Dawn so happy.  
"I like her too." Tara said shyly. "I mean, I don't really this k-kind of music, but she's nice." Willow smiled at her.  
"Who is she again?" Giles asked. Everyone stared at him.   
"Remind me again why you're here?" Xander asked.  
"I bought the wrong tickets. Now, is she famous?"  
"Just a little." Xander answered.  
"Do those two ever stop?" Spike asked, staring at Buffy and Riley who were making out in their seats.  
"Very rarely." Xander said.  
"I bet they've had sex." Dawn said thoughtfully. Everyone else exchanged an amused look. "What?" Dawn asked.  
"I'm going to get something to drink. Anyone want anything?" Willow asked.  
"I'll have a Coke." Xander said, handing her a dollar.   
"Make that 2 Cokes." Anya said. She stared at Xander expectantly. "Aren't you going to give her some money? Why aren't you giving her any money?" Xander groaned and handed Willow another dollar. "Good boy." Anya said.  
"Don't suppose they sell blood here?" Spike asked.  
"Somehow I think not." Willow replied.  
"Buffy? Tara? Giles? Riley? Dawn?" Willow asked.  
"Huh?" Buffy asked, lifting her head up for some air. "Someone call me?"  
"You want anything?" Willow asked.  
"Anything? Anything what?" Buffy asked. "I'll have a soda if you're going to the concession stand."  
"Here." Riley handed Willow 2 dollars. "It's on me. Make it 2."  
"Gotcha." Willow answered.  
"I'll go with you. H-help you carry." Tara said. Willow smiled at her.   
"I'll come too." Dawn said jumping up.   
"We'll come too." Xander said. "I want to get a Britney lollipop."  
The five of them left.   
"Um, if you'll excuse me," Giles said. "I need to use the um-"  
"Potty?" Buffy chirped.  
Giles nodded his head slightly and left them.  
Riley put his arm around Buffy and she snuggled against him as Britney began to sing her next song and Spike watched them pitifully.  
"Do you mind?" He snarled as they started to kiss. "I'm trying to watch the blonde girl dance."   
"Thanks again for taking me, Buffy." Dawn said as they walked back home. Willow had gone with Tara and everyone else went their own ways. "That was pretty cool of you."  
"No problem." Buffy said running her hand through Dawn's hair. "It wasn't that bad. Better than having my teeth pulled."  
"So, about the NSYNC concert next month-" Dawn started.  
"Don't even think about it." Buffy replied.  
"Please!" Dawn begged.  
"Ask mom to take you." Buffy said.  
"I can't. What if she's still sick?"  
"No! I'm not going."   
"Pleeeeeeaaaaase!" Dawn begged. "I'll do anything. I'll clean your room or whatever."  
Buffy just laughed and walked in the house.  
Dawn walked over to the figure that had followed them home. It amazed Dawn that she had noticed, but her sister, the Slayer, had not.  
"So, you like my sister?" she asked Spike.  
"What? Of course not?" he answered. "She's the most annoying-"  
"Right. And you just followed us because our house is on the way to wherever you live?"  
"I felt like taking a walk."  
"A walk that just happens to lead you right by our house after you spent the whole night giving Buffy puppy eyes?"  
"I did n-" he paused and glared at her. "And, shouldn't you be inside. It isn't safe out here."  
"You know you like her." Dawn replied before walking toward the house.  
"I do not!" Spike called after her.  
"Do too!" Dawn yelled before going inside.  
Spike watched the Summers' house for a moment. He wasn't sure why he kept coming back there. There was something that made him want to wait outside her house in case she decided to come out. It was pathetic. But he was pathetic. He was love's bitch and damn proud of it.   
As he walked away from her house, Spike could still hear the last song Britney had sung. Something about it had almost pulled on the strings of that unbeating mass in his chest.  
"Don't, don't let me be the last to know. Don't hold back just let it go. I need to hear you say you need me all the way. Oh, if you love me so don't let me be the last to know."  
  
The End- for now.  
  
Disclaimer:  
I do NOT own or am in any way in control of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I also do not own Britney Spears or any of her songs (Baby One More Time, Oops I Did It Again, Lucky, and Don't Let Me Be the Last to Know) I quoted. And, btw, I don't really like Britney Spears, but I thought it would be funny if everyone went to her concert.  



	2. Default Chapter Title

The moon was shining brightly in the sky when Spike heard a banging noise on his crypt's door. He jumped up and turned off the TV. He opened the door to see Harmony. She had gone out the night before and hadn't come back. He thought she might be dead, but he wasn't that lucky.  
"Spikey!" Harmony whined. "I heard you went to the Britney Spears concert last night. Why didn't you get me a ticket?"  
"It was sort of a last minute thing, pet." he replied.  
"But, you should've found me and we could've gone together."  
"You wouldn't have liked it. The Slayer was there."  
"Oh! You didn't tell her anything about me, did you?"  
"Your name never came up."  
"It didn't?" Harmony looked disappointed. "But, I'm a villain. Is she still out to get me?"  
"Probably. You better stay in here just in case. I'm going for a walk." Spike left before she could say another word.   
  
"Eat some peas, Buffy," Mrs. Summers said. "They're good for you."  
Buffy reluctantly scooped a few peas onto her plate.   
"Oh," Dawn said. "Guess what we did in school today?"  
"What, honey?" Mrs. Summers asked.  
"We dissected frogs. It was really nasty. There were all these guts and stuff."  
"That's uh lovely, Dawn." Mrs. Summers replied.  
"The best part was when Joe cut his open and all this juice flew out. Mrs. Branch went hysterical and almost gave him a detention."  
"Did you learn anything about the anatomy of a frog?"  
Dawn thought for a moment, then shrugged and said, "It's squishy."  
"Oh. I better go. Duty calls." Buffy said as she stood up.  
"Finish your peas, dear." Mrs. Summers said.  
Buffy picked up her fork and shoved a mouthful of peas in her mouth. Then, she waved goodbye to her family, grabbed a stake, and walked outside. It was going to be busy night. Ten people had died of mysterious causes with odd neck wounds….  
  
"There is nothing better than chocolate vanilla caramel fudge cookie swirl ice cream." Xander said.  
"I thought there was nothing than mint chocolate cookie ice cream. And before that there was nothing better than Berry freeze frozen yogurt. And before that-" Willow replied. Xander, Anya, Willow, and Tara had just gone out to dinner together and had decided to get ice cream on their way home.  
"Xander isn't judgmental. He has enough love for every kind of ice cream." Anya replied defensively.   
"He must have an awfully big heart." Tara said.  
"The biggest." Anya said proudly. "Almost as big as his-"  
A scream filled the area. The group looked around and saw a pack of vampires attacking the Bronze.   
"Anyone else thinking it's Buffy time?" Xander asked before they all ran in the direction of her house.  
  
"I always wondered what it was like to taste the blood of the Slayer," the vampire snarled.  
Buffy kicked him in the head. He fell over and landed helplessly on the ground. "Wouldn't you like to know?" she said sarcastically before driving a stake through his heart.   
"Not bad." Spike called from behind her. "Your speed was good, but you have a weak back flip and your head kicking could use some work."  
"Come here and we can practice that 'til I get it right." Buffy muttered.  
"All in all, eight point five out of ten. Not bad at all." He continued before lighting a cigarette. He held the pack out to Buffy, but she shook her head.  
"What are you doing here, Spike?" she asked. "Are you stalking me?"  
Suddenly, a scream rang out. Buffy automatically started running in the direction of the Bronze with Spike not far behind her.   
"Buffy!" Riley shouted from outside the Bronze. "I was just about to go in."  
"Riley, you really shouldn't be patrolling on your own." she said.  
"I know. I wasn't patrolling. I was looking for you and then I saw this. I couldn't just let all those people get killed and not do anything."  
"If we don't stop jabbering and do something, they're going to get killed anyway." Spike said.   
"Ok, on my signal, let's take this place. I'll take the main ones, you two get any other ones." Buffy commanded.  
With that, they burst in. Buffy jumped on stage and took out the leaders. Riley tried to fight one of the weaker ones, but he got knocked into a table. Spike took out all the others, including the one that knocked Riley out. In a record two minutes, all the vamps were dust. With no casualties. Just a few injuries, including Riley.  
  
Mrs. Summers jumped up when she heard a knock at her door. She opened it to see four of Buffy's friends standing there.  
"Hey, Mrs. Summers," Willow said. "Is Buffy home?"  
"Hello Willow. No, I'm afraid you just missed her. She left to do Slayer duty about twenty minutes ago."  
"You don't know if she was going in the direction of the Bronze, do you?" Tara asked.  
"I didn't see her go. Sorry."   
They were about to leave, when Dawn ran downstairs. "Willow!" she called. "You'll never guess what I found out about Spike!"  
  
"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Buffy asked Riley for the thousandth time. An ambulance had arrived shortly after the massacre to take Riley and a few other patients to the hospital. Buffy had gone along with him, while Spike had run off somewhere with only one sarcastic remark about Riley being a sissy. It was a record for him.   
Buffy wanted to get home, but she didn't want to leave Riley when he was hurt.  
"I'll be fine." He said. "It was just a little bump. They'll let me go in the morning."  
"Do you want me to stay or-"  
"Go home. Your mom needs you now. I'll be fine. Really."  
"Ok." She kissed him on the forehead and left.  
  
Xander had never laughed so hard in his life. Just the thought of what Dawn had just said and the laughter came again.  
"Spike in love with Buffy?" he managed to get out. "Are we talking about the same Spike and Buffy?" Then, there was more laughter.  
Willow glared at Xander. Dawn looked really hurt that no one was taking her comments seriously. "I can see where that'd be true. I mean, it's a classic psych case. You know, guy goes from anger obsession to love obsession."  
"Isn't that Spike behind our tree?" Mrs. Summers asked.   
"Well, what do you know?" Xander mumbled when he saw the peroxide vampire.  
"He's been there like every night this week." Dawn said. "He followed us home last night. He just stood outside our house for awhile. It was scary."  
"There's nothing scarier than a lovesick vampire." Willow said. "Especially when that vampire is Spike."  
  
  
The wind rustled the leaves over Spike's head. He counted the leaves as they fell to the Summers' lawn. He had only been standing there about 5 minutes, but he was bored already. After the fight at the Bronze, Buffy and Riley had gotten in an ambulance and gone to get Riley's head stitched up or something of that sort. Spike had considered going with them, but decided against it. He couldn't stand the idea of seeing them grope anymore tonight. Instead, Spike had wandered around Sunnydale for awhile looking for something to kill until he somehow ended up in front of Buffy's house….  
"Spike!" he heard Buffy shout from behind him. "What are you doing here?"   
"Don't sound so happy to see me." He responded, his voice dripping in sarcasm. "I was out for a walk."  
"Funny how your 'walks' continue to end up in front of my house."  
"You should be thanking me. I saved your commando. He'd be stiffer than stiff if it wasn't for me."  
Before Buffy could answer, Xander, Willow, Anya, and Tara came outside.   
"Hey Buff!" Xander called. "Did you catch the fang gang attack at the Bronze?"  
"Consider it done." she said. "Riley and I made dust out of 'em."  
"Ahem." Spike said.  
"Spike helped."  
Just then, the door opened and Dawn came out carrying something behind her back.  
In a really fast voice, she said, "Buffyyouknowhowyoupromisedmomyou'dhelpmegetreadyforthetalentshownextweek,  
well,ineedhelp." She took a breath and then pulled out the object behind her back. A pair of handcuffs.   
"What are those for?" Buffy asked cautiously.  
"I'm doing a magic act." She walked over to Buffy and Spike and handcuffed them together.  
"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed. "What are you doing?"  
"Trust me. I've been practicing on my um dolls all day. I just have to wave my wand over them and say the magic word- Presto. And…" The handcuffs didn't come off.  
"Dawn!" Buffy and Spike yelled at the same time.  
"Oops."  
To Be Continued….   
Disclaimer: See pt. 1  



	3. Default Chapter Title

Willow sat down at the computer. She and Tara had gone back to Tara's apartment after Buffy had stopped freaking out.   
Mrs. Summers led Buffy and Spike inside to get the spare handcuff key Dawn had given her.   
Willow connected to the internet and saw Buffy was online.  
  
Witchychica: Hey Buff!  
Chosen1: Hey Will! I'm going to kill Spike.  
Witchychica: What'd he now?  
Chosen1: He's just too handsome for my lowly mortal eyes to handle.   
Chosen1: Shut up you bleached freak.  
Chosen1: I thought you weren't talking to me, pet.  
Chosen1: I'm not talking. Did you see my lips move?  
Chosen1: Why would I want to watch your lips? They're hideously pouty.  
Witchychica: Buffy? You ok?   
Chosen1: Just wonderful, Red.   
Chosen1: Ignore him.  
Chosen1: That's what you always do anyway. You and your poof of a boyfriend.  
Chosen1: I ignore you? Right. Maybe if you weren't stalking me…  
Witchychica: I think I'm gonna go.  
Chosen1: Don't leave. I'll pour Holy Water on Spike's hand.  
Witchychica: Spike's still there?   
Chosen1: Unfortunately…   
Chosen1: You know you want to dance.  
XandertheGreat: Hello ladies.  
Witchychica: Hey Xander  
Chosen1: Xander, huh? Good to see you again your poofiness.  
Chosen1: That wasn't me.  
Chosen1: That wasn't me.  
Chosen1: Shut up  
Chosen1: Shut up  
Chosen1: Spike is the biggest loser ever.  
Chosen1: Angel and Riley are duking it out for the crown.  
XandertheGreat: Am I missing something?  
Witchychica: Buffy and Spike are still stuck together. They're battling for the   
keyboard.  
XandertheGreat: Go Buffy! Rip that keyboard out of his sunlight deprived hands!  
Chosen1: At least I've never had syphilis.  
Chosen1: That was Spike.  
XandertheGreat: I figured. Want me to come over and help you get unattached? I have a   
nice pointy stake that would love to help.  
Witchychica: Doesn't your mom have the key?  
Chosen1: She thought she did, but with the tumor and all she lost it.  
Witchychica: Tara and I can look for a spell to break 'em.  
XandertheGreat: Can't *you* break them, Buffy?  
Chosen1: I tried to. They won't break. They're unbreakable. Dawn got them from the  
Magic Shop.  
XandertheGreat: I guess Spike is happy…   
Chosen1: Why would I be happy? Sod off.  
Chosen1: *voice dripping with sarcasm* He's delighted. Never seen him happier.  
Witchychica: I'm bored. Can we talk about the election?  
XandertheGreat: Every time I think you're out of the nerd ship you want to talk politics.  
Witchychica: L  
XandertheGreat: Don't L. I was kidding.   
Witchychica: J  
Witchychica: brb Tara says she found a spell that might do the trick.   
Chosen1: hum de hum  
XandertheGreat: So want to talk about the election?  
Witchychica: back  
Witchychica: It was nothing big. We'll keep looking   
Chosen1: damn I want to have my arm back  
Chosen1: I'm hungry.   
Chosen1: You are *not* drinking near me  
Chosen1: Why not, pet? Angelus always did  
Chosen1: I hate you.  
Chosen1: Right back at you, babe.  
Witchychica and XandertheGreat have signed off  
Chosen1: You scared them away.  
  
"Any luck?" Willow asked as she sat down next to Tara. She'd gotten tired of Buffy and Spike's arguing and decided to go help with the research.   
"Nothing in any of my books about removing magic handcuffs." Tara sighed.  
"Shocking." Willow said disappointedly. "I wish we could help."  
"Did anyone call Giles?"  
"Not that I know of… We're really stupid." Willow picked up the phone.   
  
Buffy stared out the window, a look of disgust on her face, as Spike drank some blood he had just happened to have with him. She could feel him staring at her and it was driving her insane.   
She had to get her arm back soon or she really was going to go crazy…  
  
To Be Continued…  
  
Disclaimer: See pt. 1  



End file.
